*This number is totally outrageous. Actually, I prefer to say that it’s an extraordinary use of hyperbole. In reality, it should only take a normal person a handful of steps but that’s not how we do things ’round these parts.
Just to give you a little idea of what we were working with, here is our “before” photo:
Step 1) Send your husband out to do the dirty work (aka installing a new post lamp)
Step 2) Be informed that the screws are rusted
Step 3) Apply liquid wrench
Step 4) Wait approximately a month…not because it’s required but because you’re lazy…or the weather won’t cooperate…or you’re lazy
Step 5) Sporadically decide to once again try installing new post lamp
Step 6) Send husband out to do the dirty work…supervise this time
Step 7) Turn off power so you don’t kill yourself or your husband
Step 8) Hammer screwdriver into old screws to create new screw heads and remove screws
Step 9) Disconnect old lamp
Step 10) Attempt to figure out how in the world the lamp was connected in the first place
Step 11) Attempt to fish out wires
Step 12) Decide to get rid of the massive, unruly vine bush thing that’s in your way
Step 13) Put on amazing floral gloves
Step 14) Unwind branches to remove – use saw when needed
Step 15) Admire your handy work
Step 16) Actually figure out how in the world the lamp was connected in the first place
Step 17) Apply more liquid wrench to the screws around the outlet, do not wait a month to dry this time
Step 18) Actually fish out wires
Step 19) Remove old crusty lamp
Step 20) Place bright, shiny, new lamp on post
Step 21) Grab your junk and run inside because it’s now pouring down rain and oh yeah, there’s a ton of lightning. too.
To be continued when the weather cooperates and we can finish this little project…which is unfortunately not today but probably later this week or this weekend.